2020 – Collections: Figs ‘n’ Flates

(ignore May 1, 2017 publish date – this was published on July 17, 2020, this blog’s 3rd anniversary)

(title translation: “Figurines and Inflatables” – two words that don’t go together)

(“Figs ‘n’ Flates” do?)

 

It was really hard to figure out a sequence for this stuff. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of it, so there was no natural leadoff photo.

What to do? Pick something eye-catching and/or ridiculous. A stuffed moose on a toilet is both, plus it’s the perfect WTF-and-where-is-this-going image.

It also led me to create the sub-category of “Guards” – specific things that are stationed in specific places for good reasons. This moose spends 99.9% of his time standing on his head and antlers, guarding me from slamming my leg or toes into the metal corner of my Nordic Track in the dark:

 

Felix the Cat guards the four large speakers in the corners of my living room. This one sits atop one speaker:

 

Of these two, one sits and one hangs – both from almost 4’ over and above two other speakers:

 

This last one sits less than a foot-and-a-half from the fourth speaker in his “SIT FELIX” mortar (you’ll have to go to the 2010 post to make sense of that – it’s not what you think):

 

This guy guards valuables (he hasn’t failed me yet):

 

Tie tacks, medallions and CDs are gorilla-guarded:

 

The Noids (remember them?) guard old cassettes:

 

Godzilla oversees the entire room and guards three very valuable items: my unopened 2018 R’n’R Hall of Fame CD, my 2009 Opening Week tickets to the brand new Yankee Stadium and a Scorpions gold record (well, most of it):

What? Where would he (or I, for that matter) get a Scorpions gold record?

At the Meadowlands when the Scorps played there in April 1991. There was a party/presentation of gold and platinum records to the band in The Winners Club in the Arena………….and somebody dropped one!

Everyone kept their distance from all the broken glass and I noticed no one seemed to care about the big piece of gold record just laying there, so I grabbed it…………and God-Z has been guarding it ever since.

And he gets no help from Little-Z:

 

By the way – on top of the speaker that sits right next to me at the computer, there’s some sort of father-son drama going on:

“Wouldn’t you like to come and work with me in the office of a car dealership?” said the man who handled the books at one such place.

“Ahhhhhhhhh……………………no.”

The father had two rebellious sons who chose paths other than automotive ones, so I’m not sure who that other guy is:

 

 

 

Dolls/Puppets

 

You may recall these from an earlier post this year:

 

I picked up this Pee-wee Herman kit at a garage sale for a buck or two, but never had the interest to actually put it together, probably because he stole so much from a certain show I shot for:

 

Speaking of The Uncle Floyd Show (was I?), I have something similar to his main puppet Oogie:

 

As you can see, Oogie has yellow hair and (trust me) no legs (if you’d like to see a photo of Cyndi Lauper and Floyd with Oogie, you’ll have to go to http://bobleafe.com/ and look under “Uncle Floyd”).

Mine is a similar Pelham puppet with orange hair and two legs and he’s guarding a bunch of CDs and some 1922 sheet music of “Oogie Oogie Wa Wa” (non-Google translation: “I wanna Mama” to an Eskimo):

 

He’s also holding an altered Ozzie Smith baseball card:

 

All three of these items are very rare.

 

On the same CD shelf as Oogie, stands the very common Hugo – Man of a Thousand Faces puppet. Hugo was practically a cast member of the show and – with Mugsy’s guidance – danced at the end of a lot of shows.

He’s shown here guarding something that’s fairly rare: The Uncle Floyd Show Album (which I shot the cover for) in cassette form. I can’t find another one anywhere. That’s why Hugo’s not letting this one out of his sight:

 

Here’s a Hugo story that few people know about:

When Mugsy died, he was single and childless. The obituary in the local paper stated that he left a son behind named…………..Hugo. The paper was pissed when they found out that somebody fooled them, while we all had a great laugh.

 

 

Figurines

 

Any idea what this little cutie’s doing?

 

Taking pictures!

My youngest sister gave me this for Christmas a long time ago.

 

Here’s what it is and the back of it:

 

And here’s what it looks like brand new:

 

Wait a minute…………why does mine have a blue wreath and not a green one? Oh, I get it – mine must be the Elvis version:

 

 

These were my mother’s. Mom – the owl freak:

 

 

“Officer – there’s a naked blue lady bathing in my blue ashtray…………..can I keep her?”

 

 

Inflatables

 

The 2’-tall Crush Monster seems to be very rare. I can’t find another one anywhere online:

 

This 3’-tall hammer is pretty dull. I have no idea where I got it or why:

 

The name thing probably got me to acquire these two items, but the Turning Leaf wine one is so boring that I never even opened it:

 

As for the baloney guy, I couldn’t decide if I liked straight or crossed legs better:

 

Dunno where I got it, but you gotta love the shark :

 

It seemed like every guy I knew had an inflatable guitar………..this is mine:

 

But I took things to a ridiculous level when I got something that no one I knew had any idea even existed – an inflatable guitar tuner! Gotta keep “Bud” in tune, right?

 

“Bud” is about 3.5’-long and the tuner is about 3’-long:

 

After that, I said “No more – getting too crazy”. How crazy? I actually bought FIVE of those tuners! I gave one to a friend, opened another and here are the other three:

 

I can’t find another inflatable tuner anywhere online. I wonder what THREE unopened ones are now worth……………maybe it’s NOT so crazy that I bought them.

And I haven’t bought another inflatable since. But I DID manage to take a fairly-insane picture when it came time to clean off the 20 years of dust on them.

Guess where they had to go to get spray-cleaned (the tuner was deflated and already relatively clean):

 

The tub was filthy after that.

 

 

Now – wasn’t that more interesting than an inflatable doll collection?

 

No?

 

Too bad.

 

See ya.

 

 

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